Complexities of Modern Dating

Dating in today's modern world can be quite challenging. Many individuals I work report a variety of negative experiences and toxic patterns. This series explore several of these patterns.

Breadcrumbing

Breadcrumbing occurs when someone leads another person on with flirtatious messages, sporadic attention, and false hope, despite having no real intention of committing or deepening the relationship. These "breadcrumbs"—small gestures of interest—keep the recipient emotionally invested while the breadcrumber enjoys the attention without making an effort to truly connect.

Ghosting

Ghosting occurs when someone suddenly and completely cuts off communication with another person without explanation. This can happen after a few conversations, several dates, or even in long-term relationships. The ghoster disappears without a trace, leaving the other person wondering what went wrong.

Orbiting

Orbiting happens when someone who has ghosted you continues to engage with your social media—liking posts, viewing stories, or even leaving occasional comments—without actually communicating directly. This behavior can be emotionally confusing, as it gives the impression that the person is still interested, despite not engaging in meaningful conversation. To handle orbiting, it’s best to set firm boundaries, such as unfollowing or blocking them if their presence disrupts your emotional well-being.

Benching

Benching is when someone keeps you as a backup option while they explore other romantic prospects. They may check in occasionally, sending a text or making plans that never materialize, just to ensure you remain interested. This can lead to feelings of being undervalued and stuck in a state of uncertainty. The best way to counter benching is to recognize your worth and not settle for someone who only offers minimal effort.