The Complexities of Modern Dating: Orbiting
What Is Orbiting?
Orbiting is a term used to describe when someone stops responding to messages or ends a romantic relationship but continues to watch the other person’s social media stories, like their posts, or engage in indirect ways without re-establishing contact. This behavior creates a sense of presence without commitment, leading the recipient to wonder about the orbiter’s intentions.
Orbiting has become particularly prevalent due to the rise of social media, where passive interaction—such as viewing stories or liking posts—allows people to maintain a presence in someone's life without direct engagement (Navarro et al., 2020). This can create confusion and emotional turmoil for the person being orbited, as they may struggle to interpret the lingering digital presence.
Why Do People Orbit?
There are several psychological and social reasons why people engage in orbiting:
Fear of Confrontation: Some individuals orbit because they want to avoid direct conversations or the discomfort of officially ending communication (Navarro et al., 2020).
Keeping Options Open: By maintaining a distant presence, orbiters can keep potential romantic connections available without committing (Pancani et al., 2021).
Curiosity: Some people orbit simply to monitor their former partner’s life out of curiosity, even if they have no intention of rekindling the relationship (Pancani et al., 2021).
Power and Control: Orbiting can also stem from a need to exert control over someone by ensuring they remain emotionally affected by the orbiter’s presence (Navarro et al., 2020).
The Emotional Impact of Orbiting
Orbiting can be deeply unsettling and emotionally draining. It can create uncertainty, making individuals question whether the relationship is truly over or if the orbiter might eventually return. The mixed signals can result in feelings of frustration, anxiety, and self-doubt (Navarro et al., 2020).
Studies have shown that social media interactions can significantly impact emotional well-being, particularly in dating scenarios where unresolved feelings are present. The lingering digital connection prevents complete closure, making it harder to move on (Pancani et al., 2021).
How to Recognize and Deal with Orbiting
If you suspect someone is orbiting you, consider the following signs:
They have stopped direct communication but continue to engage with your social media.
They consistently watch your stories or like your posts without ever reaching out.
Their presence makes it difficult for you to emotionally detach and move on.
To handle orbiting effectively, try these strategies:
Limit Social Media Exposure: If seeing the orbiter’s engagement is affecting you, consider muting, unfollowing, or blocking them to protect your emotional well-being (Pancani et al., 2021).
Seek Closure: If possible, confront the individual to clarify their intentions and express your need for clear boundaries (Navarro et al., 2020).
Focus on Your Well-Being: Prioritize your emotional health by engaging in self-care activities and surrounding yourself with supportive people (Pancani et al., 2021).
Move Forward: Accept that orbiting is often a sign of emotional immaturity from the other person, and focusing on genuine connections will bring more fulfillment.
Conclusion
Modern dating is filled with challenges, and orbiting is one of the many behaviors that make it difficult to navigate relationships with clarity. Recognizing orbiting for what it is—a passive yet disruptive act—can empower individuals to set boundaries and protect their emotional well-being. By focusing on self-worth and prioritizing meaningful connections, people can move past these confusing digital behaviors and cultivate healthier relationships.
References
Pancani, L., Mazzoni, D., Aureli, N., & Riva, P. (2021). Ghosting and orbiting: An analysis of victims' experiences. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 38(4), 1485-1504.
Navarro, R., Larrañaga, E., Yubero, S., & Víllora, B. (2020). Psychological Correlates of Social Media Ghosting and Orbiting: A Preliminary Study among Adults. International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, 17(3), 1117.
About the Author: Wayne J. Woznikaitis is a freelance writer and Clinical Mental Health Counselor working in private practice in Pennsylvania. He has been working in social services for nearly 30 years. He has worked with a wide variety of clients in various settings (inpatient, outpatient, in-home, private practice, academic, and residential treatment) and aims to help individuals experiencing a variety of challenges to improve the quality of their lives.